I was eleven the first time I talked my mother down from a panic attack, and by thirteen I had a mental map of which of my father’s moods meant I should get my younger brother out of the house. Nobody sat me down and assigned me this role. I just became the one who … Read more
There is a version of perfectionism that makes you good at things. And there is a version that quietly makes you miserable. I spent years confusing the two — convinced that my relentless standards were simply a sign of ambition, not realising they were also feeding a low-grade anxiety that eventually caught up with me … Read more
I was in my late twenties before I realised I had been having essentially the same argument with myself since adolescence. The voice was critical, relentless, and persuasive — and for a long time, I genuinely believed everything it told…
A few years ago, I became slightly obsessed with morning routines — mostly because mine was genuinely chaotic and I had a strong suspicion it was affecting my mood. I’d roll out of bed ten minutes before I needed to…
Perfectionism disguises itself as dedication, high standards, and conscientiousness. For a long time I wore it almost as a badge. The signs of perfectionism that had crossed into something damaging were quiet and slow-moving — easy to miss until they…
Most articles about boundaries focus on the first step — identifying what you need. And that part is genuinely useful. But if you’ve ever tried to actually set boundaries that stick, you’ll know that identifying them is often the easy…
Think about the last time a close friend called you in tears, convinced they had ruined everything, that they were stupid, worthless, fundamentally not enough. I’d guess you didn’t agree with them. You probably offered perspective, reminded them of their…