Self-Esteem Test: How Is Your Self-Esteem?

6 min read

Let’s Get Started

Please read each statement and decide which option indicates how much the statement applies to you over the past 3 months. There are no right or wrong answers. Do not spend too much time on any statement. Items should be answered without overthinking — your gut response should be what you put down.

Disclaimer: This quiz is intended as an educational tool and does not diagnose any type of health or mental health condition.

1. I look to others’ opinions to make sure I’m making the right decision.

2. Life is harder for me than most other people.

3. I like who I am as a person.

4. I’m a worthwhile person.

5. I feel others value my thoughts and opinions.

6. Socializing with others is easy.

7. I am concerned about my appearance and what others think of it.

8. I’m not good enough.

9. I find it difficult to accept praise or compliments.

10. I’m boring to talk to.

11. I hold myself to higher standards than I do others.

12. I avoid voicing my opinions and feelings in group settings.

13. I’m afraid of letting people down.

14. I felt inferior as a child.

15. I procrastinate or avoid doing things because I’m afraid of failing.

16. I had a difficult or dysfunctional childhood.

17. People won’t help me if I need it.

18. I’m afraid of my mistakes being seen and pointed out by others.

19. I’ll avoid doing certain things alone (e.g. going to the movies, eating at a restaurant).

20. I get defensive when someone gives me feedback.

21. I only believe I’ve done well if someone else acknowledges it.

22. I make decisions based on what pleases others, without considering my preferences.

23. I’ll lie to avoid criticism, rejection, confrontation, or conflict.

24. I’m easily discouraged by less than favorable feedback.

25. I’m sensitive to criticism.

26. I have many good qualities.

27. It’s hard for me to know who and when to trust others.

28. I feel inferior to others somehow.

29. I worry about saying or doing the wrong thing in front of others.

30. I’m a disappointment.

32. I need and seek reassurance from others to make sure they still care about me.

33. I minimize my successes and maximize my failures.

34. I compare myself to others.

35. I’m easily embarrassed.

36. I feel offended or upset when someone criticizes or rejects my ideas.

37. I won’t follow through if it can’t be done perfectly.

38. People will only respect me if I’m attractive and/or successful.

39. I won’t amount to anything in my life.

40. I need validation from others to feel good about myself.

41. It takes a lot of effort to make and keep friends.

42. I need to prove I’m worth someone’s love and respect.

43. People don’t like me when I’m being myself.

44. Either I overshare or say nothing at all when I’m around others.

45. I worry that others will mistreat or take advantage of me.

46. I avoid disagreeing with people so they continue to like me.

47. I’m a failure.

48. I’m afraid of my mistakes being seen and pointed out by others.

49. I worry that people will turn against me or reject me.

50. I’ll avoid situations where I may feel uncomfortable, or look stupid or incompetent.

51. I’m afraid I’ll be ridiculed in public.

🛒 Books and Resources for Building Self-Esteem

The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook — evidence-based CBT exercises for building self-esteem, challenging negative core beliefs, and changing unhelpful thought patterns

View on Amazon →

The CBT Workbook for Mental Health — practical skills drawn from CBT and related therapies; a solid companion to therapy or a starting point for self-directed work

View on Amazon →

Nutricost L-Theanine 200mg — supports calm without drowsiness; may ease the anxious self-critical thinking that underlies low self-esteem

View on Amazon →

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Prices and availability subject to change.

The Workbook That Helps Clients Actually Challenge Their Inner Critic

Low self-esteem often isn’t just a belief problem—it’s a deeply ingrained pattern of self-talk that’s been reinforced for years. Most people know intellectually what they should think about themselves, but their nervous system hasn’t caught up yet, which is why generic affirmations rarely stick.

My pick: Separates what’s real about you from stories you’ve invented — The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook on Amazon →

What works

  • Provides structured exercises that separate your observations about yourself from the distorted narratives you’ve built around them—clients report this distinction alone is clarifying enough to shift something.
  • Built on cognitive-behavioral principles that don’t require you to “believe” in yourself first; it works by changing the thinking patterns themselves, which then changes how you feel about yourself over time.
  • Includes guided worksheets you actually complete (not just read), which means your brain is doing the rewiring work rather than you passively absorbing information.

What doesn’t

  • If your self-esteem struggles are rooted in trauma or complex attachment patterns, this workbook alone won’t resolve those—it’s a skill-building tool, not a replacement for therapy when deeper relational wounds are present.
  • Requires genuine commitment to actually work through the exercises rather than just reading them; people who approach it as a quick fix often abandon it after a week or two.

I sometimes worry that workbooks can feel too mechanical for people who need more compassion-based approaches first—but the ones who do engage with this one consistently report that the structure actually becomes the compassion, because it finally gives them permission to question the voice telling them they’re not good enough. View on Amazon →

The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook

I stopped having to convince myself I was worthy and just rewired the thought patterns driving the doubt.

Check Price on Amazon →

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