Insights into the Mind

This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

For years, I was deeply sceptical of positive affirmations. Standing in front of a mirror repeating “I am confident, I am worthy, I am enough” felt performative at best — and honestly, a little embarrassing. When I was going through the worst of my anxiety in my mid-twenties, someone suggested I try them, and for a while they actually made things worse. So the question “do positive affirmations work” is one I’ve sat with for a long time — not just out of academic curiosity, but because I genuinely wanted to know. What I found when I finally dug into the research was far more interesting and nuanced than anything you’d see on a pastel-coloured Instagram graphic.

Why Positive Affirmations Didn’t Work for Me at First

When I had my first panic attack at 23, I had no idea what was happening. It took almost two years to understand what I was dealing with — two years of avoidance, catastrophic thinking, and a lot of well-meaning but unhelpful advice. The suggestion to “just tell yourself you’re fine” landed somewhere between useless and infuriating. And as it turns out, there’s research to back up why that was the case.

A study by Joanne Wood and colleagues at the University of Waterloo found something counterintuitive: for people with low self-esteem, repeating positive self-statements like “I am a lovable person” actually made them feel worse. When there’s a large gap between what you’re saying and what you genuinely believe about yourself, your brain notices the contradiction — and doubles down on the negative belief. The affirmation creates psychological dissonance rather than comfort. I remember feeling exactly that. Saying “I am calm” during a panic attack felt like lying to myself, and the recoil was instant.

This doesn’t mean affirmations are useless — it means the way they’re typically presented is too simplistic.

What the Research Actually Says

Here’s where it gets genuinely interesting. Research on self-affirmation theory — which is different from the pop-psychology version — suggests that reflecting on your core values and what matters most to you can have real, measurable effects on wellbeing, stress responses, and even physical health behaviours. This work, largely built on the research of Claude Steele and later Geoffrey Cohen, isn’t about repeating feel-good phrases. It’s about reconnecting with who you are at a deeper level.

Studies have found that self-affirmation exercises — like writing about a value you hold dear — can reduce cortisol responses to stress, improve problem-solving under pressure, and even make people more open to health-related information they’d otherwise resist. That’s a very different thing from chanting “I am successful” at your reflection.

There’s also a body of research on positive self-talk in performance psychology. Athletes, surgeons, and people facing difficult challenges often use structured self-talk — not to pretend everything is fine, but to direct attention and behaviour. The key distinction researchers make is between self-talk that is instructional (“focus on your breathing, take one step at a time”) versus motivational (“I can do this”) — and both have been shown to be helpful in the right contexts.

The Version That Actually Helps — and How It Differs

Something I’ve noticed — both from the research and from my own experience — is that the affirmations that actually help tend to share a few qualities. They’re not sweeping declarations about who you already are. They’re more grounded, more honest, and often forward-facing rather than present-tense absolutes.

Therapists often describe this as the difference between a statement your nervous system can believe and one it immediately rejects. Swapping “I am completely calm” for “I am learning to manage anxiety” is a small change that makes a significant psychological difference. You’re not lying to yourself. You’re pointing in a direction.

Some approaches that tend to work better include:

• Values-based reflection — writing or thinking about what genuinely matters to you, separate from your current struggles
• Compassionate self-talk — speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to a close friend who was struggling
• Process-focused statements — “I am working on this” rather than “I have already achieved this”
• Combining affirmations with evidence — “I’ve got through hard days before, and I can get through this one”

This last one is particularly rooted in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which encourages you to examine the actual evidence for and against your beliefs rather than simply overwriting them with positive ones. If you’re interested in exploring CBT techniques yourself, I’ve found workbooks genuinely useful as a complement to professional support. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Workbook For Dummies is a surprisingly thorough and accessible option, and Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks by Seth Gillihan is one I’ve recommended to several people dealing with anxiety and low mood. There’s also the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Workbook if you want something more structured and exercise-led.

When Affirmations Aren’t Enough — and What to Pair Them With

I want to be honest here, because I think this is where a lot of self-help content falls short. If you’re dealing with deep-rooted trauma, chronic anxiety, or significant depression, affirmations — even well-constructed ones — are not a treatment. They can be a small, supportive tool in a larger toolkit, but they’re not a substitute for proper therapeutic support.

From my own experience, the things that made the most tangible difference to my anxiety involved actually processing what was happening — not just changing the words I said to myself. Mindfulness-based approaches helped me observe anxious thoughts without being swallowed by them. If you’re curious about that route, A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook is a well-researched, practical guide, and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction: The MBSR Program for Enhancing Health and Vitality is a solid companion to the formal MBSR programme.

For people whose anxiety or low self-worth is connected to past experiences or trauma, there’s also growing interest in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). This is a therapy that should ideally be done with a trained therapist, but there are workbooks that can support the process or help you understand it better — including The EMDR Workbook for Trauma and PTSD, the EMDR Self-Therapy Workbook, and Self-Guided EMDR Therapy and Workbook. Please do speak with a professional if you’re working with significant trauma — these resources are supplementary, not replacements.

I always want to say this clearly: if you’re struggling, please consider reaching out to a therapist or counsellor. In the UK, your GP can refer you for talking therapies on the NHS, or you can self-refer through IAPT (now NHS Talking Therapies). You deserve proper support, not just a list of things to tell yourself in the mirror.

So — Do Positive Affirmations Work?

The honest answer is: it depends entirely on how you use them, and on what you’re dealing with. The Instagram version — bold sans-serif text over a sunrise, “YOU ARE ENOUGH” — is not what the research supports. But that doesn’t mean the underlying idea is worthless. Values-based self-affirmation has genuine evidence behind it. Compassionate, realistic self-talk can shift how we move through difficult moments. And when affirmations are used as part of a broader approach — alongside therapy, CBT techniques, mindfulness, or other evidence-based tools — they can play a small but meaningful supporting role.

What I’d gently encourage you to notice is whether the affirmations you’re using feel true in some direction — even if they don’t feel fully true right now. If they feel like a flat-out lie, your brain is probably telling you something worth listening to. That gap might actually be pointing you toward the work that really needs doing.

From my own experience, the most powerful shift wasn’t telling myself I was fine. It was slowly, painstakingly building evidence that I could cope — and learning to speak to myself with the same kindness I’d offer someone I loved. That’s not an affirmation you read off a card. It’s a practice. And it takes time.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your experience in the comments. And if you’re at the beginning of that journey — I’m really glad you’re here.

Take care of yourself, Lucy x